Meltdown
Last Sunday, my brain had a meltdown. It started when Rob and I encountered something like a crisis in the wee hours of Saturday. And then Sunday I couldn’t do anything anymore — I couldn’t think straight and I couldn’t see the point in anything, including school, internship, work and life in general.
I decided that I would quit school, because I’d never get my diploma anyway, and I definitely couldn’t start my internship Monday morning, because I’d probably die. Because my brain’s recovery mode doesn’t work quite as fast as I’d like it to, I didn’t start my internship. And I didn’t call them. And when they called me, I didn’t answer. And when they left a message on the machine asking me to return their call, I didn’t.
I went to school that evening just to talk to my tutor and we agreed that it’s nigh impossible for me to complete all my subjects before summer break. Before talking to him, I had decided that I would tell him that I was quitting, I just can’t do it anymore and SCREW YOU AND HOMEWORK SUCKS. But I didn’t. We decided that I should try and do as many tests as I could this week and next Monday, then summer break, and then the remaining tests in September. I’ll have my diploma in October.
By Tuesday, I still hadn’t recovered fully and still shuddered at the thought of calling about the internship, so I let Rob salvage what he could. He called them and they were surprisingly kind and understanding. The manager will call me sometime next week to discuss where we can go from here.
I passed the two ICT tests I took last Tuesday. My business presentation today didn’t go so well, but I should pass on previous results. I have a bunch of assignments I have to finish tomorrow so I can mail them to the teacher (the old fashioned way, because she doesn’t like trees, apparently) and have them graded before her last day, Monday. Two more tests next week, and the rest in September.
And as if all of that wasn’t quite enough, our internet connection crashed and burned Tuesday evening and didn’t go back up until this morning. Please dear god, never let me see this ever again, and what’s up with blaming it on me?