A kick in the teeth
It’s been a while and a lot has happened so here’s a quick summary.
Christmas with Rob’s mother was fun except for the times when all they could talk about was people and events from before I knew them. The drive to my parents’ bungalow was long and boring but we could find it easily enough. My sister was there and she, Rob and I played pool and air hockey, which was fun. The food was good; the airbed we had to sleep on… not so much.
I can’t even remember what we did the second day there. We left sometime in the afternoon and my sister took a ride with us, her place was en route anyway. Then someone, probably my sister, suggested that it would be fun if she came home with us, plus she works not far from where we live. In hindsight: bad idea.
We went out to the pub for a few hours, came home at about 3:30 and a lot happened that made me kick her out of the house into the cold at 4:30 in the morning. I won’t get into what she did that made me freak out entirely and scream at her like I’ve never screamed at anyone, but I still get angry thinking about it. I honestly can’t remember the last time I raised my voice in anger. I never do. That’s how bad this was.
I haven’t talked to her since, even though she was at the family dinner we had last weekend. We used to get together every year around this time for my grandmother’s birthday. She died a year ago this Wednesday, but we decided to keep the tradition alive because some of us would never see each other otherwise. My cousin who lives in Ireland couldn’t be there but perhaps she’ll be there next year. It was a fun evening.
School started again last week with three tests, two of which didn’t go so well. I keep lagging behind on everything. I’ve always done everything last-minute, which doesn’t always work out very well, but I just can’t change that. To illustrate: I have to turn in the basic structure and planning for my thesis tonight, but I haven’t so much as thought about what I’m going to do with it yet. It’s at times like this that I want to kick myself in the teeth.