A job at last?

Just a brief update to reveal my shock over the fact that apparently the internship is going so well that the Big Boss decided to call me into his office yesterday to offer me a job. It’s not set in stone yet, because he has to confer with the others that I share the office with, but he sounded really positive. Eek.

Nearly nostalgia

It’s funny that even when my brain tells me not to do something, sometimes I opt to do it anyway. Today’s example: Logging in to my old e-mail account and reading e-mails sent to and by old friends about three years ago. Awkward and sometimes painful. I did, however, find some gems that quite made up for the discomfort — songs!

I can’t remember when I last made a mix CD, but I did just now, and the songs on it are… diverse, to say the least. About half of them were salvaged from the old e-mail account, including the Dead Can Dance covers (#1-4), Ministry, Depeche Mode and In Extremo.

I also found two recordings of myself that I didn’t remember ever making until I listened to them and thought, yeah that sounds like me. One is me singing the first twelve seconds of “Amazing Grace” (horrible quality), the other is me talking about eating a chocolate muffin (trying to sound terribly American) and swearing in Dutch. Why, you ask? Because an English friend wanted to hear what I sounded like. Funny I sound more British than anything now.

As for the internship. Today was my third day and I actually really like it. Colleagues are really nice, I’m pretty much over my phone-o-phobia (!) and this kind of work (reviewing and correcting reports, keeping track of deadlines for reports, et c.) is totally my thing. But I don’t want to talk about it too much lest I jinx it and everything goes to shit and the big boss tells me tomorrow that he doesn’t think this is working so thank you and au revoir. Superstitious much? Nah. I’ll review when the five weeks are up.

Not quite peachy

The manager of the agency where I was supposed to start my internship last week, but didn’t because I had a meltdown, called me yesterday afternoon. I didn’t really expect him to call me, so earlier yesterday I called city hall, where I could’ve interned if I hadn’t turned it down. The lady that usually handles internships wasn’t in, so she’d call me today. And then said manager called. He asked me some questions — what happened? why didn’t you call? what issues do you have? — and I told him that failure is probably my greatest fear and that I tend to expect too much of myself. And god forbid my failure should be seen by others. He gave me some words of wisdom.

It’s impossible for anyone to know everything there is to know about everything, so if anyone scoffs at you for not knowing something or failing at something, it’s only because they don’t realise just how little they know.

And then he said that he was still interested in having me. Excuse me? Yes, you’re still welcome. OK then, awesome. We’re going to see how it goes for a week, and if all is well I can stay for another four weeks.

I guess I should call city hall and tell them that everything’s been taken care of, but what if this internship doesn’t work out and I’ll need to go somewhere else after all; I can’t call them up a third time. So you see, even when everything seems to be just peachy, there’s always something gnawing at my brain.